I think i peed on brittanys purse
no you cant smoke seaweed
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
