Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Randomize
