it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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