dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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