Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
