i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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