Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
