He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Randomize
