Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
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