I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Acid is not a monday night drug
The best revenge is premature balding
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
