Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
