his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
