I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Randomize
