Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
