She announced her abortion via fbk
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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