It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
