Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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