do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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