I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize
