I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
