Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Randomize
