so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I am full of burrito and curiosity
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
