I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
pray to the hookup gods
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
