Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
