I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
it was like eating out sand paper
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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