yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
