"it" just moved
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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