when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
