I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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