ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
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