one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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