It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Randomize
