let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
