if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Randomize
