I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
he was CRYING into my vagina
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
