In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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