I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
only you would photoshop your dick
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Randomize
