Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
