just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
