That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
