I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
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