im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Randomize
