I am spending my child support on dildos
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
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