When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
