Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Randomize
