1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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