Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
