You're so nebulous sometimes
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Randomize
