you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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