The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
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